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✍️ My Take on How to Do LinkedIn DMs
Hey, Reader,
Have you or someone you know pondered the question lately...
“The DMs on LinkedIn…How do I engage and sell my services?”
I know the DMs have been a focus of mine, and they've been a focal point of conversation with my clients.
So…let’s first start off by saying…
The phrase “selling in the DMs” just isn’t my cup of tea.
And I think that’s largely because I HATE being sold to personally.
I mean…who enjoys it?
No one!
And there's nothing worse than to be in this "cold-call" mindset. At least that's not where I want to play.
I think too many people may accept a connection request, and bam, the next message is a pitch for a service you didn’t ask for.
Doesn't it feel transactional? A bit off? And maybe even completely off-putting?
But I do believe that engaging in the DMs can be enjoyable and even rewarding when it’s rooted in curiosity, trust, and relationship-building.
When messages are sent from that POV, they can lead to meaningful conversations. And I know because it happens to me weekly.
And yes, some of those conversations result in sales for your services.
But it's how you approach engaging in the DMs in the first place that makes a difference.
Here are my thoughts….
🎯 The Reality: LinkedIn Is a Long Game
Sorry, but if you were expecting shortcuts…I don’t have any. Real progress takes intentional action and time.
I wholeheartedly believe that building your personal brand on LinkedIn is an investment. And you need to make a small deposit every day.
That deposit could look like...
- Writing a post
- Responding to comments on your post
- Proactively searching to comment on others' posts
- Initiating a conversation in the DMs
Likely, it's a mix of all of the above.
If you walk into every DM expecting someone to book your service on the spot, I'm sorry, but you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
And honestly…you're likely closing the door on the spot to a fulfilling connection.
Think about your own buying behavior.
Do you instantly hand over your hard-earned dollars to someone after a single conversation? (I typically don’t.)
Or do you instead…
- Linger on their content for a while
- See how they show up consistently
- Gauge their vibe, their credibility, and their results
- Then maybe, eventually, reach out when it feels like the right fit
If you don’t buy immediately, why would your audience?
Commitments to work with you don’t usually happen in the first message.
They happen through multiple touchpoints, with small moments of trust built over time. Your DMs are just one piece of the puzzle.
💡Start With Curiosity, Not Conversion
Instead of approaching a new DM with questions like “How can I get a commitment today?” ask yourself…
- What made me want to connect with them?
- What’s something I’m genuinely curious about in their work?
- How can I make a new friend or offer up a way to help?
This small mindset shift makes a huge difference in how your message lands.
This is a recent screenshot from a conversation I initiated...
✅ Check Your Own Energy
Before you send a DM, check your own vibe.
Are you anxious?
Desperate to close a deal?
Trying to prove your value right away?
That energy comes through, even if the words sound “friendly.”
Instead, anchor into knowing that the right people will work with you at the right time.
You’re not in the DMs to convince…you’re there to connect.
A few grounding reminders…
- You don’t need everyone to say yes
- You’re planting seeds to open the door to more fulfilling conversations
- You wouldn’t appreciate being pitched 5 minutes into a conversation, so don’t do it to someone else
🏠 Create a Strong Foundation, Not a One-Off Message
Here’s where your content strategy supports your DM strategy.
When someone checks their inbox and sees a thoughtful message from you, plus consistent content on their feed that reflects your expertise and values...
That’s what builds trust.
Some of my favorite touchpoints before I commit to other people's services are...
- Noticing their consistent, high-quality content that speaks to me over and over again
- Talking in the DMs casually and learning more about them behind their business
- A coffee chat off the platform for 30 minutes to get to know them
It’s all connected. And none of it feels pushy.
✨ Action Steps: Making the Most of DMs Minus the "Have to Sell" Mindset
Here’s my over-arching advice based on experience…
- Personalize the first message. Comment on something recent they posted, said, or did. Show them you’re paying attention with a detail.
- Lead with curiosity. Ask questions and listen more. People can spot a question cloaked in a pitch, so don’t do that.
- Don't share until prompted. Let the convo unfold naturally. If they share a challenge you can solve, then you can offer a perspective that helps if it feels aligned.
- Share valuable content consistently. Your posts reinforce what you do, so your DMs don’t need to do all the heavy lifting.
- Know when to move on. Not every connection becomes a client or someone you want to collaborate with, and that’s okay. Be respectful, and better yet…continue to be supportive.
🫶 Final Word: Focus on the Person, Not the Outcome
If there’s one thing to take away from here, I think it’s this…
The DMs are a place to strengthen relationships.
You’re playing the long game. And your long game is to genuinely care about the humans on the other end of the message, regardless if you end up working with them or not.
Be the kind of person who's a supporter no matter what happens.
And trust that the right opportunities will come when the timing is right for all parties.
Need help crafting content that supports your DM strategy and builds that trust before the convo even starts?
That’s what I do.
Let’s chat. (No pressure! I promise:))
☕ Fill Your Cup
Did you also know I teach university digital marketing and content creation courses?
How did it come about?
Showing up on LinkedIn!
If you missed my post at the beginning of the week, check it out here.
I would love to know what's going on with you and your business. Reply and introduce yourself. I promise I'll respond.
Talk soon,
How I Can Help You...
Follow me on LinkedIn if you aren't already so you can get daily posts! I love to engage there:)
If you're a CEO or B2B looking to build the LinkedIn brand you deserve, I can be your LinkedIn right-hand woman 💃
Reply now, and let's chat.
And if you're still debating, watch this video from one of my clients..
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